I Want A Normal Life
by Kuroi No Kage
Summary: Back in high school, Izaya and Shizuo were her best friends. 7 years later, after her sudden disappearance, she returned to Ikebukuro with two things in her mind: her duty and her friends. She can only choose one. Next chapter WILL come out... after my 'big exam' is finish. Which is on December. After that, I. AM. FREE!
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One: Return**

The scenery changed from wide, green fields with mountains and trees to tall skyscrapers and bright lights to shine the city night. It had been a really long ride, as expected. 17 hours. Started as early as 3:30am from the first station which was Hokkaido. A lovely place, I admitted, but despite the fact that it was Japan's most peaceful and calming place, I didn't really had that much 'fun'. Because of my work. Luckily, my work involved taking pictures of scenery and people, so at least I could keep it as a memory. Like how I always did in every place I went.

In every trip I went, I was neither happy nor looked forward to it. However, this time, I was sort of excited to start my job in the most busiest –and unique city ever. Ikebukuro. Also known as my hometown.

As the train entered a tunnel, I saw my own reflection on the window. I looked somehow different. I had long, dark brown hair. Black iris behind a pair of glasses that I had worn since forever. I was a bit startled when I saw a smile carved on my lips. Was I really _that_ happy to be able to return to my home, even just or a while?

The train stopped. I held tight on my black bag pack which was the only thing I carried and stood in front of the door. When it opened, I rushed out and head towards the exit. I even bumped a middle school guy in the process. I heard him apologized nervously, but I didn't mind and ignored him as I walked up the escalator towards the bright light.

_How nostalgic. _I thought. The view, the sound, even the air was so familiar to me. As if everything was the same like how I remembered. If there was a difference, I couldn't tell what. The clock at the park showed 8:05pm. It was still too early to do anything. I stared at my surroundings and realized that there were still lots of people walking around, doing their business and moving on with their life. They looked happy that it brought back a conversant emotion.

And then I remembered my job. Right. I buried that emotion inside and took out my camera from my bag. I started taking pictures of the city and its people. Taking only the buildings would make the picture looked uninviting, so adding some moving activities to it might bring it back to life. I learnt that from experience.

I was concentrating really hard of a butterfly on a frog statue. The lighting and pose was absolutely perfect when my stomach began to growl like an angry wolf. It scared my model away. I sighed as I held my stomach, completely forgotten that I had skipped lunch and dinner. Because train food were awful. Cheap, but hardly edible. At times like this, the best place to eat was at Russia's Sushi which wasn't far from my area. I put my camera in my bag –reserving batteries- and left.

I memorized the road and path that I had taken. It wasn't that hard to remember, since I was born and raised here in the city. I crossed a road in which I was sure was the one that went straight to Russia's Sushi. I could just follow it, but then I saw a familiar white van parked at the side of the road not far from where I stood. It looked really familiar. I gasped mentally when I realized that it belonged to Kadota's gang. My old friends.

_Should I talk to them? It's been so long and I really want to talk. _My stomach scolded me and I held it. _No good. I gotta eat first._

Something fell on my cheek, so I wiped it off. It was water. When I looked up, the rain began to drizzle, slowly getting heavier and heavier. Even so, I didn't have the urge to escape from the cold rain. The kind of rain that penetrated me with old memories. Ones I wished could've stayed forever. If it were possible. My mind flashed images from years before, as if they were photos and I was just looking through them. They were all me being happy around my friends during school years. But the most vivid part were 'those two'.

This feeling. The feeling of longing. Like I wanted to meet them again. Yes. It would be nice.

My view of the cloudy, dark sky was cut off by a black umbrella, hovering on top of me. I was startled by it and looked at the person who held it. Before I could say anything, he said in a teasing tone, "And here I thought you were dead, Ai-chan."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two: Daring Red

Raven-colored hair. Wearing a black shirt underneath the same colored jacket with white fur around the hood, the hem and the end of the sleeves. Normal jeans. His eyes… it had been such long time since I last saw them and yet, they looked awfully the same. Crimson red. Like blood.

"There you go again. Day dreaming like usual." I was startled by his derisive tone and sadistic smirk. "What's wrong? Did you miss me so much that you can't take your eyes off of me? I'm flattered, Ai-chan~"

I laughed. I didn't expect that the first person who would speak to me since I came was Orihara Izaya. The manipulative, sly yet understanding guy from high school. And also my friend. I smiled at him in a more childish way. "Long time no see, Izaya."

Izaya and I went way back in high school, where I became a student in Raira Academy. Like every first-year, I searched for the things that could make me fit in with the others. I wasn't talented in particular things, but I was fond in photographing, so I joined the Magazine Club. The best thing about that club was that the members on duty were allowed to use cameras at school for the magazine headlines. However, what I didn't like was…

"Aikawa-san!" a group of witty-looking seniors were walking towards me. They must had seen me down the corridor, holding a camera. _Oh great. Not again._ I did not smile at them when they were next to me. "Ne~! Take a picture of us!" I sighed and took several pictures of them with their I-look-like-a-model pose. After that annoying session, one of them said "Make sure we get into that next page! We're counting on you~ Or else."

I watched them left while laughing. I scoffed under my breath, hoping that no one was around to hear that. Still standing at my spot, I deleted their pictures. Not a second thought on that action.

"Aren't you afraid that they might come back to you for that?"

I gasped and turned around, almost bumping the person who stood behind me. He was the guy in my class, Orihara Izaya. He smirked and leaned closer to me. Panicking, I shoved him hard, even though I knew I didn't have to do that. I stepped back and looked at him.

He raised his hands as if he was calming me. "Easy now! I'm not trying to kiss you~ I'm merely curious." He said and took a step closer.

I couldn't help, but to stare into his bright-colored eyes. To me, they were very unusual. Daring and curious. Full of schemes I could have never imagined. Almost as if he could take me away.

"So." He started, breaking the silence. "Miss Daydreamer. Why did you delete the photos of those girls?"

I didn't know who this guy was, but I felt a bit uneasy being near him. I wasn't afraid of him though. He just had that dominant aura oozing out from him. Like he was fooling me. Without looking at him, I answered "Because… they're fake. In the picture, they look really cute and nice. But that's not them." I glanced at him. He seemed to be amused by my answer.

"Indeed. I do agree on that." Izaya's eyes were staring hard at me. He still had his smirk on his lips. "Humans would rather become a fake than being honest to themselves. They think they can fool others, when they are actually fooling themselves. And that's what makes them so interesting." With every step he took towards me, I felt my heart beating faster. I stepped back. Until my back was against the wall. Izaya was getting much closer. I wanted to run away, but he placed his hand on the wall next to me, preventing me to escape.

_Should I scream? Should I fight back? He's so close. What should I do?!_ I couldn't think of what to do, until he said in his same mocking voice. "If they come back, you'll be cornered. You got no friends, right? You got no one to back you up. What're you gonna do about it, Miss Daydreamer?"

His words hit me like a knife. It has been almost a few weeks of school, and yet, I was still a solo. I admitted, I wasn't the social type, so I didn't approach anyone. But despite that I was feeling down, I grew more curious of him. It was like he knew me. I knew nothing of him. I felt helpless.

The bell rang which surprised us both. Izaya withdrew himself and gave me a sudden wide and playful smile. "Well then, see you in class~ Bye~" he waved before walking back towards class. I stood there, unable to think straight or process on what to feel. Orihara Izaya. _What a stalker._


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three: The Same

I didn't realize that it started to rain heavily. If it weren't for Izaya's umbrella, I would've been wet by now. Still, the rain was soaking our pants. "Well, it's time to save the princess from this wretched rain." He said in his playful tone and carefully held my hand. I could feel the touch of his hand, gentle and surprisingly cold.

After the clumsy escape from the rain, we sheltered inside a bus stop. Izaya closed his umbrella and set it aside while I wiped my glasses. We sat down on the bench, just the two of us. I had a sudden wonder in that short moment of silence, that if I were still the Nagari Aikawa from before. If I was, what would I have done right now? Cry? Hug? Stare?

"So then, what brings you here?" Izaya asked, hands in his pocket. Probably cold. I looked at him and when I saw his eyes, I looked away. It wasn't exactly the kind of question I expected from him. I thought anyone would be like _You're back?! _Or _Where have you been?! _Or maybe _What happened to you for the past 7 years?!_

I pursed my lips and answered casually "I have a job now. I'm a photographer. And I'm taking pictures here in Ikebukuro."

"Eh~? Really? Looks like you got what you wanted. Congratulations." He replied. I noticed that there were no humor in his sentence. And that made me blank on what to do next.

I missed him. Even his annoying attitude.

From a puddle in front of us, I could see the reflection of him. He wasn't looking at me anymore. He just stared ahead. No smile. No movement. Just frozen. And it made me angry. _Just ask me, damn it! _That was what I thought, but it was half-hearted. What should I answer then? That I suddenly disappeared because I wanted to be a photographer? Would he buy that? Would anyone buy that? I built up some courage. I looked at him and leaned closer.

"Izaya…"

My stomach growled very loudly even through the sound of the heavy rain. Izaya looked at me with wide eyes and then burst into a hysteric laughter. It echoed inside the bus stop, ringing in my ears. My face reddened of embarrassment as I shouted at him.

"Shut up! Don't laugh at me! I'm hungry, okey?! I didn't eat anything yet! Hey! Are you listening?!"

With the final heave, he wiped an imaginary tear from his eyes. "Poor~ Ai-chan! You could've told me that you were starved to death! Hahaha!"

I pouted, still embarrassed, but it was good to hear the old Izaya again. In fact, it was good to be back.

"Shut up."

Luckily, Russia's Sushi was near and Izaya happily treated me to have dinner there. I had no second thoughts. With his umbrella, we approached the entrance where a large-built, black man with a Russian accent was there, advertising flyers under the rain. "Come! Come! Come to Russia's Sushee! Eet good! Beautiful lady! You come in and have some sushee!"

I looked up at him with a smile. "That's exactly the idea, Simon."

Simon was obviously surprised because he threw the flyers into the air. "Ai! Eet's so long! Eet so good to see you!"

"It's good to see you, too!" it was. Simon was a good man. I fell in love with sushi because of his passion towards them. Until now. "Izaya and I want to eat here, so—"

"Izaya! You are together with Ai?" he questioned as he looked at Izaya. Izaya smirked like usual and said, "As a matter of fact, yes. And we are going to spend the night in the most romantic way possible.

I shot him a glare and smacked his shoulder. "Izaya!"

Simon actually approved that. He led us in and took our orders before he disappeared into the kitchen. Izaya and I sat at the counter, next to each other. We didn't say anything to each other. I was feeling anxious, somehow. I mean, I really wanted to talk to him. About anything. Instead, he stared at me, long and focus. I felt a chilling aura coming from that stare.

I looked at him –annoyed- and met his bright eyes. "I'm not a bug, Izaya. I can talk."

He seemed amused all of a sudden. He scooted closer as if we weren't close enough. "I'm just trying to be polite. If I recalled, Ai-chan doesn't like to be questioned. Or perhaps, you've changed?

_Changed? Perhaps._ I smirked. "I guess you can say that. I'm no longer the 'innocent' and 'insecure' Nagari Aikawa back in school."

His smirk became more devilish as he slowly leaned closer to my face. "Oh really?" he purred.

My smirk disappeared as I realized Izaya's face was really close to mines. His eyes were looking at me intensely. Dangerously. Daring. My heart beated faster than usual. I panicked. I shoved him away and he almost fell from his seat. I was breathing raggedly while Izaya was laughing.

"The Innocent and Insecure Ai-chan! Welcome back!" he announced loudly for the whole restaurant to hear.

_I thought I could overcome it already. After all I'd been through…_ I heard him sighed. "You haven't changed at all."

I huffed and looked away, blocking my red face. There was another silent. During that moment, I thought hard. Why couldn't I just face him like I always do with other people? Was it because… the motives were different? Or was it just him?

"But since you're so eager to hear it from me, I'll do the honor." He said and I looked at him. "What happened to you and where did you go?"

I stared at him. I was a bit surprised of how much he understood me. Well, knowing him, I knew I'd regret telling him anything.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four: Where and why?

The sushi arrived and I realized that I was starving. I eat a few before answering calmly, not taking my eyes off of him. "7 years ago, I encountered a man who claimed to be my father. And he immediately invited me to stay at his place."

I remembered what happened that day. I was about to go to school that morning. Had my breakfast, wore my shoe and about to leave the house where I'd been living alone in. And then a man wearing a smart, brown suit and a pair of glasses with dark eyes like mines appeared behind the door, in a pose which looked like he was about to knock on my door. When we faced each other, he smiled warmly at me and said. "Good morning, Aikawa."

I was startled. I knew I never met him before, but it felt like we had a connection. "G-Good morning. How do you know my name?" I asked him.

"May I come in? We can have a chat and I'll explain everything to you." He said nicely in an assuring tone.

But he was still a stranger to me, so I wasn't sure if that was a good idea. "I'm sorry, but I have to go to school."

There was an awkward moment of quietness. I didn't know what to say and he was in my way. From the look from his face, he was gloomy, but he could still smile. "Aikawa. I want you to listen what I'm going to say. This sounds a bit… sudden, but… I'm your father."

Izaya munched a piece of his sushi before returning to me. "So, you trusted him?"

"At first, I didn't believe him. I mean…" I paused, thinking about what to say. I looked at him, worried. "I think you don't know this, but in the orphanage that I lived, Miss Suguru, the caretaker said that my father died and that I never met him before I was sent there."

He rested his chin on his hand, giving me a skeptical look. "You went to the orphanage when you were still 2, right?" it was true and I nodded. "Left you by the door step in a basket. It's sad though that people still do that. They would've been lucky to raise a girl like yourself."

I didn't really understand him, so I continued. "Anyway, the man was Nagari Tsutsumoto. He works as an accountant in Kyoto. And still today. When he told me that he was my father, I got flustered and didn't know what to do. So he showed me an album."

Inside that album was full of pictures of a slightly younger-looking him holding a baby. The baby had brown hair and black iris. All of the pictures were just the kid and him, and they were all selfies, doing various stuff and smiling ever so happily. I could tell that they were sincerely happy. They weren't fake. However, it still hasn't convinced me, yet that I was his child. That kid could be anyone. I was about to tell him that when suddenly I saw the last picture in the album.

It was a picture of the kid and him in the beach, building a sandcastle. What caught my eyes were the kid's hip. It has a dark area of the skin shaped like a bunny. I almost fainted. I had that birthmark, too. I was suddenly overwhelmed by strong emotions; happy, angry and confused all mushed together and all I could do was cry. I cried without looking at the man, my father. And he, without hesitation, hugged me tightly. It felt like forever since I was this close to someone. Usually, I would get very uncomfortable, but I didn't think about that. I was so happy to be able to meet someone who knew and loved me. That was why, when he asked me to come and live with him, I agreed.

We finished our dinner and Simon cleaned our table. I was actually finished in telling my story to him and I knew it was hard to process. He smiled at me and said, "You're so mean, Ai-chan."

I raised an eyebrow. "Eh?"

"You could've at least called us for once. I mean, who wouldn't be shocked to hear that a friend didn't go to school and disappeared like that? Seriously, everyone thought –and still thinks- that you were dead. You should've seen Erika and Shizu-chan back then. They'd gone nuts and-"

"And you?" I interrupted him, curious. "How did you react?"

Izaya stared at me, long enough to make me feel weird. He still had his smirk, but he sounded a bit nervous. "I was really worried, too. Ai-chan left me all alone with Shizu-chan~!"

I laughed at his childish play. We stayed there for a while, talking about our lives. He said that he was an information breaker, staying here in Ikebukuro for a while to do some research before returning back to Shinjuku. _This guy is still obsessed in humans. Pretty creepy. Not that I would say it, though. _I told him that I was establishing a new theme for my blog –Busy 'n' Unique- in which Ikebukuro was perfect for that and I would be staying here for a month. I asked if he and Shizuo were fine. He just growled and said some things about him. _I guess they never could get along._

"Ah… Look at the time." He said as he looked at his watch. I looked at mine and it showed 9:56pm. "Shall we go?"

The rain already stopped. The cold air fogged up my glasses, so I removed and wiped them. Suddenly, Izaya held my hands down, preventing me from wearing them.

"I never really told you this." He started. He was unfamiliarly gentle. In his voice and his touch. "But you look better without glasses."

Again, my heart began to pound faster. I felt my face heat up. I let go of his hand and wore my glasses without looking at him. This feeling. I hated it. And he always made me feel this way. Maybe ever since high school, but I never took it too seriously.

"I~ ZA~ YA~!"

After the sound of an angry man yelling Izaya's name, a vending machine crashed at the spot where he stood. He could have died by that. Luckily, he was able to dodge it. I was really shocked and turned around. What I saw was someone who was glaring deathly daggers at Izaya.

"Looks like I can't offer you a walk home, but…" he took my hand and placed something on my palm before closing it. "… that doesn't mean we won't try it again~ Bye~!" He ran off into the crowds and vanished.

"COME BACK HERE, FLEA!" the guy ran after him. I didn't get a chance to look at him. However, I knew who he was. Who else could throw heavy public objects at Orihara Izaya? I smiled. _Maybe I'll meet him soon._

I looked at my palm and found a piece of paper. A phone number was written on it.


	5. Chapter 5

**Minna! Kuroi-san desu!**

Thanks for reading my fanfic till now! Hope you like it! If you have anything to say, anything at all, just let me know!  
Some advice would be really awesome!

Arigatou~

Chapter Five: Calming Blue

"Did you see that guy just now?! What a monster!" a random guy wearing a green jacket yelled in excitement to his companion who was wearing a black suit. He seemed to act like it was a normal thing.

"That's Heiwajima Shizuo." He stated. "All I can say is that don't mess with him. Unless if you want to lose a bone." And then they both laughed.

I took the chance to take a picture of them before they left. Kadota's gang weren't around anymore which made me a bit sad. I was hoping to meet them today. I'd just have to wait till tomorrow then. The paper that Izaya gave was put in my pocket. I reminded myself to put his number in my contact list later. Now, I had to head 'home'.

The place that was already rented for me was in Shinju Street. I'd never went there before, so I was having trouble finding my way through. I knew I was lost when I ended up in an eerie, quiet part of the city. And in a place such as this, there were bound to be mischiefs.

"Excuse me, onee-chan~" someone cooed behind me. When I turned, I saw a bunch of guys, each wearing a yellow scarf, surrounding me. I knew about color gangs that recently caused trouble and picking fights. These guys were one of them, in the gang called The Yellow Scarves. I thought they were disbanded.

The guy in a white cardigan grinned. "What's a girl like you doing in a place like this?"

I ignored the disgusting men and walked around them. As expected, they didn't want to let me go.

"Since you're here, why don't we do something?" he approached me and attempted to hold me.

"Back off, jerks." I growled and glared at him, irritated.

They all cracked a sickening laugh. One of them looked at me and said to his fellas, "She's a fighter, guys! You know what to do." They all smirked and walked closer. I held my bag firmly. I didn't want to use force, but—

The guy in the cardigan in front of me flew up, screaming his head off. I was dumbfounded when I saw him crashed into the nearest trashcan. I'd be surprised if he survived that.

"AHH! RUN! MONSTER!" I heard the other guys screamed like a maniac and sprinted off, leaving me alone. With the so called monster.

"Damn bastards. Causing trouble in the middle of the night." His voice was a deep scowl, completely showing how angry he was. He was looking up at the sky and it seemed that he didn't notice me. I stared at his figure. He was blonde. He was wearing a bartender suit, a pair of shades –even though it was night- and had a cigarette on his mouth, puffing smokes like it was nobody's business. It gave me a pang of emotion. I couldn't stop smiling from the sudden joy I felt.

"Shizuo." I said his name. He looked at me.

It was a long, awkward stare. Me staring at him who was staring back at me. I couldn't read his expression because of the shades. He wasn't moving and I was beginning to worry. I was about to say something, but before I got the chance, Shizuo took off his shades and threw it to the ground. He gave me a hard, scary glare filled with fury.

I smiled nervously. "Sh-Shizu—"

"WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GO?!"

Back in high school, Heiwajima Shizuo was my senior, a year older than me. I never knew who he was until one day, I saw him beat up a group of armed gangs in the school field. Alone. His scary inhuman strength was something I'd never seen before in my whole life. Because of that, everyone was afraid of him and tried not to get into his bad side. Well, except for Izaya for some reason.

I began to wonder that if he had any friends. If he was lonely like me, but I noticed that he had friends and was nothing like me. His friends were always there with him, even though they were kind of weird. This include Izaya who always tried to piss him off every time and then Shizuo would chase him around. I was jealous of Shizuo. Some people would still be close to him even though he could hurt them. I'd wish someone like that could be there for me, too.

It had been a month and still, I was alone. Both at home and at school. It was getting pretty lonely, considered I was quite used to it, but I came to understand how one could never like to be alone. Izaya popped up once in a while, trying to be a creep around me, I supposed. He just couldn't leave me alone. I wondered if he was considered as my friend.

During recess, as usual, I went to the rooftop to eat my lunch. There weren't many students here –except to skip class- and I liked the view from here. I could enjoy it while I eat my bentou. Alone. Like always. _God. I must've looked pathetic. _The voice was whispering in my head. I left my bentou on the bench and walked towards the railings that were meant to prevent students from tripping and fell off. I looked down and saw the bug-sized humans below. _It's a long drop. No one could survive the fall._

The school bell rang and immediately, the rooftop was empty and quiet. I stared down and then looked up at the sky. Clear blue. It was nice and calming. And I felt strangely at peace. _If I disappear, no one would care. I got no one after all. My life… it felt so empty. I didn't really do anything, did I? _I put one foot on the railings and hoisted myself up, until I was sitting on it, feet dangling above the 30m far ground.

Suddenly, I heard a slurping sound followed by angry murmurs coming from behind me. I turned around. Heiwajima Shizuo was sitting on my bench, drinking a small carton of milk, glaring. Not at me, though. In fact, it looked like he didn't notice me. What he was doing there and what happened to him was none of my concern, but I had this strong urge to ask him.

"Hey." It caught his attention. He looked at me, startled and frowned. I asked. "What're you doing?"

He seemed hesitant, but he showed his carton of milk and said. "I'm having lunch. Chasing that bastard makes me thirsty."

He probably meant Izaya. I gestured at my bentou next to him. "You can have that if you want."

He saw it and then took it. I looked back down. _What a weird 'last moment'. _

"Hey! If you fall, it'd be bad, you know. Are you planning to die, idiot?" Shizuo shouted. I didn't look back. I felt my hands on the railings loosened.

"I guess so." I said flatly.

"If you die, people are going to be sad after that." he sounded angry and I didn't know why.

I smiled at his joke. "Who?"

There was a long silent. All I could hear was the sound of my beating heart. I didn't want to do it. I was so scared, but my mind couldn't handle it anymore. I was alone. The torment of being alone was painful enough to crush my sanity. Some say that we can never feel lonely if there was no one to miss. In my situation, that didn't prove the certainty. I didn't miss anyone, but I was alone in this world. And that was final. I let go—

"Me."

I stopped, frozen. My grip on the railings tightened, as if my life depended on it. _What did he just say? _Turning around slowly, I looked at Shizuo, examining his features. His clothes were a bit torn. His blonde hair was messy, but it didn't hide the soft and gentle look in his beautiful blue eyes.

"Me." He reassured. He showed me the empty bentou and said more loudly. "I owe you a bentou! If you die now, I won't be able to repay you! And I hate to be in debt!"

Like the sky, his eyes were making me calm in a way that made me forgot about my pain. He made me feel safe. He gave me hope. The loneliness disappeared. I knew it would return again someday, but I didn't mind that anymore because I had a reason to feel lonely. The answer was in front of me. The strongest man in Ikebukuro. Heiwajima Shizuo.

"Okey…"


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six: Simple Words

After calming Shizuo down at the street where he attempted to smash every lamp post and vending machines there, he settled down and here we were, sitting at the side of the road. He was covering his face with his head down. I didn't know what to do after that outrages tantrum. I almost got hit by one of his blows. Good thing was that there were no passersby. Finally, he sighed deeply and looked at me in the eye. He had the same blue eyes that cared for me years ago.

"This isn't a dream, is it?" Shizuo asked seriously and I nodded. "Because if it is-!" he clenched his fist hard and about to get up.

I held his shoulder and pulled him into a sitting position. "No no! It's not a dream! I'm real!"

Again, he sighed and sat down. He looked really frustrated. "What the hell…"

I knew he wanted to ask me tons of questions and I knew that he was still in shock. Seeing him like that made me feel guilt-ridden.

"I'm sorry, Shizuo." I said softly. "I know what I did was… out of hand. I just didn't know what else to do. I'm sorry to make you worry."

His face softened and relaxed after I said that. "It's fine. What's important is that you're here. I guess I should stop worrying now." I smiled at his kind words, even though he sounded like he was still mad. And he was. "But what the hell, though! You left without saying anything! Do you have any idea how angry I was?!"

I listened to his words. It dawned to me that he was still bad at expressing things with words. He was an action type and I still liked that about him. Shizuo said it was okey now that I was back, but then he started getting angry again because I left. He apologized for yelling, but started to curse after that. It was awkward. However, he has the right to be mad at me. It was unfair for him and I knew that.

"I'm sorry." I expressed me regret. Shizuo stopped talking and looked at me. He sighed and placed his hand on my head, patting. I was stunned by his move. It wasn't like him to be this way, but it felt nice. The warm touch of his hand on my head made me realized that I was back home. To the place where I belonged.

"I'm just glad you're back, Ai. I really am."

"Me, too. I miss you, too."

Shizuo showed me the way to Shinju Street. It was an apartment about 30 floors high and according to the information given, my house was at the very top. Shizuo and I took the elevator and waited for it to reach the 30th floor. The atmosphere was pretty dense. Both of us were quiet, burying the words that were kept inside since years ago. I tried to open a conversation.

"So… um… you're a bartender?" I asked, recalling his bartender suit.

Shizuo replied. "No. I'm a bodyguard."

_Bodyguard? But he looks like… never mind._ "That's cool."

There was another long silent. I hated myself for not being able to adapt this kind of situation. It was the same as that time with Izaya. I just couldn't find the right words to say. Even though these two were like my closest friends back in school.

"What about you?" Shizuo asked me and I snapped out of my daydream.

I had to tell him the same story like how I told Izaya. It was fine. I could handle it. I was about to speak, but then the voice in my head distracted me. _Am I going to lie to Shizuo, too?_

I lied a thousand times before. There was no difference if I lied now. I had to. I needed to, but Shizuo… he was different. If I lied to him, it meant that I betrayed his trust in me. I frowned. _Idiot! Don't involve him in your problem! _

"Hey. Are you okey?" he looked at me a bit worriedly. "You still get easily distracted, huh?"

I snapped out of it –again- and smiled. "Sorry. I'm fine. You asked about my job, right?" he nodded. "I'm a photographer."

My chest felt heavy all of a sudden, but I pushed it away.

"A photographer?" Shizuo looked away and stared at the door, at his reflection. "You're not staying, are you?"

I was surprised that he knew about the life of a photographer. Like myself, I didn't stick around in just one location. I had been to almost every inch of Japan and some parts of other countries in the West. I never spent more than a month in one place. It was the same as here in Ikebukuro.

The elevator door opened. I took a deep breath and walked out. There were only four doors there. I knew no one else was inside either of them. I turned and looked at Shizuo who was still inside the elevator. Something painful hit my chest when I saw his face. I forced a warm smile.

"A month is enough for us to hang out, right? I want to spend as much time that I have with you. I promise."

He raised his head, eyes now filled with unfamiliar sadness and loss. I wondered that if this was what he looked like after I left. It crushed me, but I didn't have the right to say it. Shizuo didn't deserve this. The door closed.

I saw the number of the elevator was still on 30. Shizuo hadn't pressed any buttons, yet. I felt like he was still close to me. Close like 7 years ago. I remembered how attached we were, like two fitted pieces of a puzzle. I depended on him and he depended on me. We were a perfect match. And I knew, at that time, I would have the chance to fall in love with him. This unspoken words I so badly wanted to tell became acid that was killing me.

I walked towards the door, saw my own reflection and touched it. Shizuo was on the other side. If I told him, he wouldn't hear me though. But at least…

I opened my mouth. _Tell him._ No voice came out. I tried again, but what came out was a croak. _Tell him! _My body was cold and trembling. "I… I-" _Just tell him, damn it!_

And then realization hit. I couldn't tell him. I just couldn't. No matter what, I would keep burying this feeling deep inside until I could no longer feel it. After all, he didn't need me anymore. I already disappeared.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven: Obtain

-Izaya's POV-

I closed the door behind me and walked towards the large-scaled window. It was a floor-to-ceiling glass where the view of the city was mine to enjoy. Of course, I could've enjoyed it if my body wasn't aching right now. That Shizu-chan was, as usual, really violent. Not that I would be surprised by that. Though, I was a bit disappointed that he had to come out at that moment.

"So, did you have fun being a stalker?" a voice of an unamused female spoke to me in that unlit room. I knew who she was, so didn't looked at her.

"What to do mean, Namie?" I asked playfully. "Stalking is what low-life do. I, on the other hand, was observing."

She huffed and from the reflection of the window, I could see her smirking. "And what do you suppose observing your crush could gain anything?"

_Crush? _I laughed and looked at her, masking the anger with a smirk. "You've got quite the imagination. Me? Has a crush on one of my lovely humans?" I slowly walked towards her while staring into her dominant eyes. "I don't think you understand me well, Namie. I don't love humans as an individual. They're all the same. And they're mine to control." I held her chin up close to my face, showing who has control. "Even you."

Namie pulled her head away roughly and glared angrily at me. Before turning for the door, she hissed. "Creep." The door slammed shut. I sighed and sat in front of my computers. The screen blared at me with information. What I needed and what my humans wanted.

Everyone knew I loved humans. Each and every living political creature were part of my piece and I knew how to control them. It was so simple, really. Just mingle with their minds and the next thing I knew, they did exactly what I wanted them to do. And what excited me the most after that was their reactions. Good things happen, they smile. Bad things happen, they weep. So, I controlled their surroundings, making sure that they expressed perfectly. Except for that beast named Shizuo who never once did what I wanted him to do. In fact, he was the reason why my plan kept disrupting. Just like a few minutes ago.

_Ai-chan and I were getting pretty well together. If Shizu-chan hadn't shown up… Wait. Why am I disappointed? I gave her my phone number after all. _I brushed it off and returned to my work. So far, I had most of the items I needed. There were still things I needed to accomplish which would be easy by using my 'pawns'. I opened file after file, looking through them intently to finish the puzzle. I opened another file and stopped. Ai-chan's picture was in there. I stared at that picture deeply, recalling the moments we had once.

7 years had passed since the day she left without a single clue. 7 years she had kept me wondering. I remembered the last time we talked before it happened. Ai-chan wanted me and Shizuo to follow her up the rooftop. It was a tight situation because apparently, both me and Shizuo couldn't stand each other. However, she insisted that the both of us should just follow her. She said she wanted to show us her favorite view. When we got there, me, Shizuo and Ai-chan were just staring at the orange sky and clouds above us. It was a nice view, I admitted, but what caught my attention was her.

She was smiling. Cheerful. As if the sky itself was bringing her that sort of joy. The sweet, innocent smile that had brought me back to my senses, only to belong to Ai-chan.

"Isn't it beautiful? I wish everyday could be like this." She said with awe, looking at me and Shizuo instead of the sky.

Shizuo who was leaning at the railings –and I so badly wanted to push him- asked her. "Just take a picture of it. You have a camera, right?"

She smiled sheepishly and answered. "True. If it is a picture, I can take it anytime, but this moment and time we share right now… "

I watched her stare at the darkening sky, completely lost in her thoughts. It was her habit. There was nothing we could do. However, I knew what she meant. This moment we had right now couldn't be taken by a picture. It was precious to her and she cherished it. At that split second, I wondered if I could make her happy. If I could make her smile like that. I didn't know how or why, and until now it was hard to explain, but doing that would make me happy.

I smiled at her picture on my computer like she was actually there. I rested my elbow on the armrest and placed my chin on my hand. Her brown hair and black eyes. Her red lips. Her fair skin. Ai-chan. My piece. "You never ceased to amaze me. You're… different than my other humans." I touched the screen, her face, and frowned. "I'll bring you back, Ai-chan."

-Shizuo's POV-

Ai and I had a connection. I could feel it. From the first day we met, I had this feeling that I knew her in some way. Well, not the part where she tried to kill herself, but where we started to hang out together. She was calm and gentle. Just being around her made me feel at ease. Like a few minutes ago, I was really sure that I was going to destroy everything at the street, but I could restrain myself. Because she was there.

"Have you ever had a girlfriend?" I asked out of the blue.

Tom, my boss stopped knocking at the door and looked at me with a dumb expression. He started to scratch behind his head. "What? Why do you ask so suddenly?"

I flicked my cigarette butt to the pavement and returned to him. "I'm just asking."

"Uh… Well…" he seemed uncertain about answering. I didn't actually force him to answer if he didn't want to. It was just a question though. I just wanted some answers.

When the door opened, it cut him off and he turned to face the guy who was standing there. He wore a really worn out shirt and torn jeans. Like a hobo. The usual routine; Tom asked for the client to pay up. If they did, we'd leave, but if they didn't, I'd beat them senseless.

"Hey! I didn't sign up for this crap! Now go away!" the hobo yelled.

That was my cue. I walked towards him and pulled his shirt up until he was hovering above the floor. He looked terrified and was struggling to break free which was useless. I stared at him, but I didn't give him the angry look. I just wanted to ask.

"Hey!" I said and he flinched. "Tell me. Do you have a girlfriend?"

It was quiet all of a sudden. The guy stopped struggling and stared at me. He wasn't answering. I shook him and raised my voice. "HEY! Did you hear what I said?! It's a 'yes' or 'no' question!"

"Y-Y-Yes!" the guy stammered. Sweat began to form on his forehead.

I looked at him straight in the eyes. They were full of terror and guilt. I continued. "If so, why did you chose her? Why did you make her as your girlfriend?"

He was glancing around, obviously trying to find a way. I wouldn't think of letting him go without an answer.

"Um… 'cause she's cute. And she's rich and all…-"

That ticked me off. I pulled him close to my face as I glared daggers at him, showing my disgust. "YOU GOOD FOR NOTHING LOUSE! I'M GONNA KILL YOU!"

With a single blow, he flew out off a window and was out of my sight. I grunted, annoyed at his half-hearted answer. _What a jerk! Just because your girl is rich with looks doesn't mean you can just use her as your accessory!_ I left that place. Tom followed behind me.

We were at the park, sitting on a bench, drinking out of a juice box. At first, Tom invited me to drink some beer, but I didn't want to lose my head tonight. I needed all the focus I had to figure this out.

"Hey. Shizuo. About just now, why do you wanna know?" Tom asked.

I glanced sideways and grunted. I knew I was being out of character about that girlfriend thing. I wasn't desperate or anything. I just… wanted to make sure.

"I had a girlfriend." He said nonchalantly.

I looked at him, curious. "Had?"

He nodded and gave me a smile. "Yeah. I broke up with her."

Anger boiled up and I raised my fist at him who raised his hand to defend. "W-Wait! Don't hit me!"

"You damn well deserve it, bastard!" I shouted. But I didn't really want to hit him. He was my boss. I could get fired.

He lowered his hand and looked down. "Maybe."

"She was special to me. She made me a different man. Better. I can't explain why though." Tom drank his last drop of juice and threw it away. "She's not that pretty. She's not a genius. But to me, she was perfect. She was all I needed."

I listened to my boss who was in complete haze. When he stopped talking, I asked. "Then why broke up with her?"

"Because she deserves better." He looked at me and shrugged. "I just had to let her go, man. She has a life ahead of her. Me? I'm just a debt collector."

He wasn't being specific, really, but I understood what he was trying to say. He liked that girl because she was different to him. She made him happy just being who she was. She didn't even need to try. Tom saw something in that girl and fell in love with it. It sounded pathetic, but I couldn't say it. Just like when I saw Ai, I felt like a different person. "I'm not letting her go. Not again."


	8. Chapter 8

**Minna-san! Ohaiyo! Sorry about the lateness (if you're waiting that is). For those of you who don't know, I'm still a student and I'm not always at home, so the next chapter might or might not come out this week. And then you have to wait for another month again.**

**I'm doing my best *cries***

**Anyway~ Please enjoy this chapter**

Chapter Eight: Photographer

I looked up at the stars in the dark sky. They sparkled like diamonds and I tried to recognize some familiar constellations. Orion. Swan. Big Dipper. Southern Cross. Either way, they were all stars that made some sort of human-familiarized shape, so that people can navigate their way. Some ancient people said that the souls of the dead floated up into the heavens and became stars. I wondered if I could be one of them someday.

I breathed in the cold air and exhaled, creating a puff of fog. It fogged up my glasses, so it pushed it up to my head and made it as a hairband. _You look better without glasses. _Izaya's words echoed in my ears. His words were sweet, but I had something else in mind. Did he ever see me without glasses before? I was pretty sure I never removed it in high school. Seeing everything blurry made me dizzy. It was different than right now. I could see perfectly well even without it. I didn't need them anymore since that day.

I was startled by the sound of static through my earphone. When I pressed a button on it, a familiar voice reached unpleasantly.

"AIKAWA! CAN YOU HEAR ME?! HELLOOO!"

"Yes! Yes! I can hear you, Nagisa." I answered flatly, though a bit annoyed to my partner.

I could hear a muffled laugh in the background, probably the others. Nagisa continued on her cheerful act. "So! How's your day there?"

I was thinking of telling what happened to me today; from Izaya's treat to Shizuo's rage, I wanted to tell her everything. However, I knew that even if we had worked together for years, she was still 'just a comrade'. Not a friend. It was too risky to tell her.

"The usual. I found the target's location. I'm all eyes from here." I said as another gust of wind blew. It disturbed the signal for a moment and when it went back to normal, I could hear Nagisa giggling.

"Let me guess. You're on a high building?" she guessed playfully, obviously trying to tease me.

I was on the rooftop of a building, high enough to see the whole bright city and close enough to see one of the hotel's window. Of course, through the naked eyes, it was pretty far from where I stood. That was why I had my UTG Type-96 Black Airsoft Snipe. Suited for long-ranged situations. Plus, it had a silencer.

"Well, enough with the small talks." Nagisa said, turning off her cheerful tone. "How many have you finished so far?"

I looked back at the stars and shrugged to myself as I mumbled. "Three."

"Oh! Three in one night! As expected from our Aikawa!" she congratulated me as if what I did was an achievement. Even if it was, I wasn't happy. What I did such as that was something that we had taken lightly of for many years, but it wasn't normal to others. "Anyway, just finish this up by tonight. A package will arrive soon and you'll know what to do."

"… I understand." I said.

"And one more thing." Nagisa said in a hurry with excitement. "We have eyes all over Ikebukuro, Aikawa."

There was long pause. I waited for her to say something super annoying, but then she hung up just like that. She left me hanging. Her words were not threats. They were a reminder. That if I decided to leave the mission, they'd make sure to not let me go so easily. Such ideas had never gone through my head once since day one.

I took out a photo from my bag. It was a picture of a man wearing a hat and leather jacket, walking among the crowds, unaware that he was in a picture. I looked at my watch. It was already midnight. I positioned myself in front of my sniper gun and looked through my scope. I focused on the hotel window where a few men were entering the room. I zoomed in closer, fingers ready on the trigger. My breathings were normal. I was calm and confident. I had done this countless of times and never fail.

A man in the same hat and leather jacket as in the picture sat down on one of the beds while the others sat on chairs. They started discussing something serious, judging from the look on their face. I didn't know what they were talking about, but I didn't care. I pulled the trigger and fired once. The sound of the gunshot was short and muffled because of the silencer. Through the scope, my target was lying on the bed, head covered in blood. His roommates were in panic.

I looked away and breathed out heavily. I took out a red marker and crossed out the face of the man in the picture. _Target eliminated. _I disarmed my gun, put it in my bag and left the building.

If I had a chance to pick my own path, I wouldn't choose to become an assassin. No matter how good I was at killing and getting away with it, every time I did it, I would always, always feel desperate. I couldn't explain. As if there was a mixture of anger and guilt inside my chest, only to be layered by expectations. If it weren't for that hope given by father, I would've left this job years ago.

I looked at the photo on my hand. It was a picture of two men; one wearing a green jacket and the other was wearing a smart brown suit. They were laughing, the motion of the city as their background. I didn't know the guy with the green jacket, but I was certain that my next target was the guy in the suit. I cut my view of the photo to the guy sleeping on the bed, obviously unaware of my presence. How did I get inside his hotel room? Simple. I used the coded card that Nagisa gave me to open the door without setting off the alarm.

I shook his shoulder a bit rougly. "Mr. Taguchi. Wake up."

The man groaned –annoyed- and looked up at me. His eyes were concentrating hard because of the dim light. I saw his pupils shrunk, but before he could respond, I hit his head with a wine bottle.

3rd Person POV

Mr. Taguchi woke up and found himself bound by tapes on a chair. His hands were cuffed on the handles. When he moved, he felt a stinging pain on his head, realized a bit sooner that it was bleeding. He didn't know what on earth happened to him. Suddenly, a movement in front of him caught his full attention. Through the dim surroundings, he could see a figure of a woman sitting on the desk, looking through some papers. He couldn't tell what they were, but he was certain that it belonged to him. The woman's glimmering eyes met his.

"It's nice that you're awake, sir." The woman said with formality as if about to discuss something very important. "Don't worry. The blow didn't cause any fracture to your skull. You'll be fine. At least for now."

He wasn't much pleased to found himself leeched to this situation. He never expected to get robbed in a hotel where surveillance cameras were around every corner and the place guarded by security guards. How this lady got into his room, he didn't know. Something told him that she wasn't a normal thief and that her threats were real.

"If you want my money…" he said with a half-scared half-confident voice. "…it's in the safe box. The code is—"

"If you're willing to tell me that, then I'm sure you're willing to tell me where that formula is, Mr. Taguchi." The woman didn't look at his direction. She organized the papers neatly and put it aside as stood up, slowly making her way closer to him. Like a tiger, creeping its vulnerable, helpless prey.

She wore an emotionless expression, masking whatever kind of ideas she had in mind. Unlike him, she was a natural at it. Deceiving ones perspective about her using facial expressions and nonverbal communication skills. Mr. Taguchi stared at her. What he saw was a girl who had only one thing in her mind. To satisfy.

"You're one of Tsutsumoto's henchmen, aren't you." He said through gritted teeth. Hatred started to boil up inside him, turning that fear off and replaced it with determination. "If that's true, then I'd rather die than give you that formula!"

The woman stared down at him. This wasn't the first time someone was so confident and determined to protect their information. They said they would rather die. They said it was better. That it was the right thing to do. Using words like _injustice _and _cruelty _as a way to describe her duty while their doings were considered right. However, though their mouth spoke of death, she knew that deep inside their conscious mind, they wanted to survive. Like her.

She took out a blade from her leather jacket and pointed it straight to his bare neck. The tip merely scratched the skin. No blood came out, but Mr. Taguchi turned white as a sheet. "I'm glad you said that. Truly. Because this way, I won't feel too guilty about killing you."

Mr. Taguchi looked at her as if he was looking at death. He didn't want to believe, but his eyes couldn't have possibly be fooling him. He swallowed. Beads of sweat rolled down his cheek. Fear began to take over again when he saw the glistening steel under his chin. He suddenly thought of his family and was beginning to regret the things he should've avoided. One of them were working under Nagari Tsutsumoto.

"But." The woman broke the silent with her quiet, soft voice. "I might change my mind."

Right after she said that, she saw the man's eyes glanced at his right. It was a quick and an unconscious movement of the eyes caused by an emotion receptor that made his body told the truth. And the woman saw it. She looked at the same direction of where the man had glanced. There was a silver suitcase under the cabinet, locked with a three digit code. It looked exactly the same as the one she came across once in Moscow. The one that exploded if being forcefully pried.

With a wary smirk, she returned her gaze towards Mr. Taguchi who knew the mistake he had done. "Would you tell me the codes, sir?"

He looked down to his feet that were bound to the legs of the chair. He shook his head with despair. "No. I wouldn't. Not to the likes of you."

The woman stood straight and sighed. She walked over to the cabinet and took the suitcase. She looked at it thoroughly, thinking of the trouble that she might face when trying to open it without it exploding at her face. She was inquisitive about it because she was never told on what was inside.

"You shouldn't be doing this." Mr. Taguchi spoke with sadness and loss in his voice. "Maybe it's pointless explaining it to you, but you're doing is wrong. Tsutsumoto… He… He's not the kind of person you should trust. His plan and doings… It's all for the sake of his own satisfaction!"

"How would you know about his plan?" she asked.

"More than enough to make me leave his so-called company." He said with disgust of the past memories. "That formula is supposed to be destroyed properly. That was what I was going to do. Because if it gets in the hands such as him, this world will be—"

A blade stabbed his forehead and his head flung back, shutting him up for good. The woman looked at the blood flowing out from the wound. No matter how many times she saw it, the blood, she would always feel nauseous. To avoid fainting at the spot, she took the things needed and left the room as quietly as she entered.


End file.
